Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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