First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
