doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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