i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
