Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think my fart just growled at me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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