They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
