It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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