my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
