i just wanna soil my oats bro
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
