I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
