My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
