How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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