We need to rekindle our bromance
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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