i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
