I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well you can't waste a boner
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
