He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
