Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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