Your dad touched me again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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