hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
