Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm passing your future prison.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
