Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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