i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
