i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
