so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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