I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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