dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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