that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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