So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
