i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
