It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
