I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
worst night to have a conscience
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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