I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
