are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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