"it" just moved
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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