he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
