i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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