Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
