So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it glows. i had to have it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
