addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
