I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
