WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
