Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
