Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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