Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
