I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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