After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
