My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
