Midget sex pt 2 tonight
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
