hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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