i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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