Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
