I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
