when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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