You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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