What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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