Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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