His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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