so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
