Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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