Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
