I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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