her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
